My dear friends,
One of the greatest challenges facing Christian parents is raising children in the fear and nurture of God. There is need for establishing a solid foundation on which sound character, good moral judgment and love for God, neighbours and self are required principles. We are aware, however, that no matter how much effort is put into raising children they do advance in years with a mind of their own. Parents often develop a sense of guilt when their children misbehave regardless of their ages. We sometimes hear them lamenting: “I did my best to raise them correctly, where did I fail?”
I am convinced that parents sometimes assume a heavier load of guilt than they deserve. No one is perfect and when it comes to parenting no one does it accurately. I am in no way suggesting, however, that as parents we should sit on
our laurels and allow our children to have their own way. God has granted us the privilege of becoming parents and has endowed us with the responsibility to raise them following the principles laid down in His Holy Book. When we peruse the Bible, we soon discover that many of the spiritual giants in that Book experienced difficulties in parenting. Isaac, for example, had a fifty percent success rate with his sons Jacob and Esau. Aaron was completely blown over with the attitude of Nadab and Abihu. Manoah’s son Samson was rewarded the title of the worst son of the year, and Eli, a recognized moral and spiritual giant, was bitterly disappointed over his sons’ rejection of his example and teaching while pursuing lives of bribery and shame.
Since the days of Adam, our forefather, children have been pursuing their own courses of action. They sometimes conduct themselves in a manner that brings shame and hurt to their elders. So what is a parent to do, when overwhelmed by a child’s behaviour? What actions should he pursue in order to seek solace to his heart? Here are three answers:
- Bear in mind that children make their own choices. You cannot hold yourself responsible for the decisions they make in life. Condemning yourself discourages you and undermines your ability to be the parent they can still look up to. The Bible teaches that “Salvation is of the Lord.” (Jonah 2:9) It is God who saves and delivers, not you.
- Secondly, pray for your children and place them in the safe hands of Almighty God. Being over anxious and frustrated will not make their life better. In fact, it will only make you the kind of parent they do not enjoy being around. You were not built to carry such a load. Give your children and their behaviour to God the burden bearer. (I Peter 5:7).
- Thirdly, do remember that God loves your children more than you. He gave His only Son Jesus Christ to save your child. He knows the heart of every child and how to reach it and turn it toward him. So release your child to God and let Him have His way with him.
The Very Rev. Rudolph Smithen.
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